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RESOURCES
Suggestions for Enhancing Your Relationships with Your College Student
As a parent or guardian, your support, guidance and direction have assisted your student’s
acceptance into a top-ranked public institution. For many parents and guardians, raising a
child is one of their most significant investments. As a parent, you have helped your student
successfully navigate the educational process, resulting in their enrollment at Clemson.
Sending a child to college often creates a variety of emotions for parents. Much literature
exists to help, but we would suggest you simply do what you have done to ensure the success
of your student up to this point. The following are five beneficial tips to aid a successful
transition from high school to college.
1. Ride the Emotional Roller Coaster and Practice Soft Skills
The next few years will seem like a roller coaster for you. There will be ups and downs, twists
and possible mistakes made along the way. Your student will need your patience, a listening
ear and a healthy dose of empathy. You know your student better than anyone. Listen to them
and allow them to solve their own problems themselves. Trust you have done a great job
raising them. Remember this is their time to shine!
2. Promote Autonomy
Your natural inclination is going to be to solve everything for them in the next few years. We
urge you to not do this. They need to handle their own problems. Realize you will likely see and
talk less to your student. Wait for them to reach out — they will do so when and if it is needed.
This distance does not mean anything is wrong, it simply means they are becoming more
independent and becoming their own decision makers. Encourage them to utilize the
numerous campus resources, especially the free ones — the Academic Success Center, writing
centers, Counseling and Psychological Services, student organizations — and remember the
Clemson Parents website also offers many resources. Good parenting is learning to let go, and
everything up to this point has been about letting go. You created good boundaries for them,
and they will be successful because of the experiences you fostered.
3. Embrace Your Own Changes
Simply because you sent your child to Clemson does not mean you will not worry and share
concerns for them. Your worry does not go away — you will worry about their safety, what
they are doing and who they are hanging out with. When experiencing such feelings, remind
yourself there are hard-working, dedicated staff and faculty to help them. You will never
stop being their parent, but you can and should begin reframing that relationship. Work to
find the appropriate balance. Now is the time to think about yourself and what changes this
transition brings for you. One note — if this is your second student, it is likely easier, but
do not assume transitions will be the same as with your first student. Each student has a
different experience as they map their lives.
Clemson University recognizes college can be a big transition for families, and we want
to help prepare you the best we can. We have come up with some resources specifically
to support you and your family through your student’s time at Clemson. Below is a list
of specific ways for you to stay connected as a family:
Family Communication Resources
Note:
Publications listed below are available electronically at
clemson.edu/parents .•
2022-23 Family Experience Calendar
•
Clemson Family Handbook
•
Clemson Parent and Family Experience Portal
•
Social Media:
@ ClemsonSAand
@ ClemsonCSLEon Facebook,
@ clemson_saand
@ clemson_csle on
Instagram,
@ ClemsonSA on Twitter and
@ ClemsonSAon YouTube
•
Family website:
clemson.edu/parentsFamily Events
•
Fall Family Weekend
•
Spring Family Weekend
Family Staff
•
Center for Student Leadership and Engagement
•
864-656-0515 or
cufamilies @ clemson.eduSTUDENT DEVELOPMENT
For most students (and parents), attending college can be an anxious time — exciting
but potentially overwhelming. No matter how prepared you think you are, you can still
experience anxiety. It is this anxiety that results in learning. Having the privilege of
participating in higher education is a transformative experience. It is a time for self-
exploration — exploring new interests, trying out new roles and responsibilities, meeting
people with whom you share common interests and also getting outside of your comfort zone
by interacting with those different from you.
As a parent, understanding your student will experience changes in their identity,
intellectual abilities and values, and these changes are expected, will ensure a successful
transition for you both. Their transition will include periods of a honeymoon phase, cultural
shock, initial adjustment, mental isolation, and acceptance and integration. They will
struggle with questions:
“What am I to become?” (e.g., major, career paths); “Who am I to love?” (e.g., friends,
significant relationships); “What do I believe?” (e.g., beliefs learned by other influences or
their own beliefs); and “What do I stand for?” (e.g., ethics, principles and values that guide
one’s life). Each period may result in a student different to you as they work through these
and other developmental issues. While only three months separate a high school senior from
a first-year college student, these three months and the first semester are significant periods
of growth and change. Your student is learning how to be a college student. Orientation is the
start of our support for you in understanding these changes. You will be reminded of these
changes at Family Weekend, through divisional newsletters and from other communications
from the University. We encourage you to remain supportive of your student while they
manage their emotions, become autonomous, foster competence, develop relationships and
discover their purpose. At the end of their college journey, you will be amazed and proud of
the person and professional they will become.
CLEMSON UNIVERSIT Y
FAMILY WEEKEND