23
from movies. These movies often portray an unrealistic view
of the college roommate experience. The scenario typically
looks something like this: a student immediately (usually
on move-in day) becomes best friends with their roommate,
spends all of their time together, the room is always tidy and
eventually they end up in one another’s weddings. Students
also hear about college experiences from other people’s
stories: someone who had a roommate that used their things,
ate their food, was very messy, etc. At this point, students
anticipate the absolute best or the absolute worst scenarios
for their experience. In reality, roommate living probably falls
somewhere in between. At Orientation each year, we ask our
students how many of them have ever had roommates, and
the majority share they have never had a roommate, or even
had to share a bathroom. It is incredibly valuable for your
student to have realistic expectations of what this experience
will be like. They most likely won’t be best friends on the first
day. Relationships take time to establish, and it is realistic to
think they may have some disagreements about things. They
will most likely have very different ways of doing things. This
is absolutely normal. Living with someone can be incredibly
rewarding, and your student will be gaining more from this
experience than they probably even realize. Guide them in
figuring out how to get through these areas of conflict.
For more information about living and dining on campus,
visit
clemson.edu/housing-dining .Things to Consider
• Encourage your student to attend on-campus events, go see a movie or eat meals with their
roommate. By setting aside time to spend with one another, they will begin to understand each
other better.
• Encourage open-mindedness in your student and their roommate relationship. They can learn a
lot from someone whose background, culture, values and interests are different from their own.
• Advise your student to communicate expectations and avoid frustration. They should discuss
individual expectations with their roommate. It is normal for roommates to have different
expectations. Coming to a common agreement on what is expected for a living space is an
important part of living with another person. Some topics to address are study habits, sleep
schedules, items for sharing, items for personal use, visitation hours and cleanliness.
• Encourage them to talk it out with respectful communication. Students should speak openly
PARENT TESTIMONIAL
“From our own experiences,
we knew the important role
a roommate plays in having
a successful first year,
especially for out-of-state
students like our student.
Clemson’s online roommate
personality assessment test
was extremely useful in finding
a good match. After selecting
each other, our student and
their roommate continued
to communicate over the
summer. It was comforting
to know our student knew
at least one person before
arriving on campus. Amazingly,
they have a lot in common,
and we like the roommate’s
parents as well.”
Gail Van Cleave
Troy, Mich.