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residential experience is transformative. REM provides a student experience

that supports the valuable learning opportunities existing outside of the

classroom. The intent is to engage with residents as individuals and connect

them to campus life and all it has to offer. The belief is that students who

live on campus will grow in four areas: self-exploration, living in community,

intellectual engagement and global citizenship.

Talking Through Roommate Conflicts

Most of the students would agree

their first impression of college and

having a roommate comes from

movies. These movies often portray

an unrealistic view of the college

roommate experience. The scenario

typically looks something like this:

a student immediately (usually on

move-in day) becomes best friends

with their roommate, spends all of

their time together, the room is always

tidy and eventually they end up in

one another’s weddings. Students

also hear about college experiences

from other people’s stories: someone

who had a roommate that used their

things, ate their food, was very messy,

etc. At this point, students anticipate

the absolute best or the absolute

worst scenarios for their experience.

In reality, roommate living probably

falls in between these two scenarios.

At Orientation each year, we ask

our students how many of them

have ever had roommates, and the

majority share they have never had

a roommate, or even had to share a

bathroom. It is incredibly valuable

for your student to have realistic

expectations of what this experience

will be like. They most likely won’t

be best friends on the first day.

Relationships take time to establish,

and it is realistic to think they may

have some disagreements about

things. They will most likely have very

different ways of doing things. This is absolutely normal. Living with someone

can be incredibly rewarding, and your student will be gaining more from this

experience than they probably even realize. Guide them in figuring out how

to get through these areas of conflict.

For more information about living and dining on campus, visit

clemson.edu/ housing-dining.

PARENT TESTIMONIAL

“Our son’s freshman roommate

experience has been less than

optimal. Basically, they are

both quiet and therefore, they

go days and weeks without

speaking. This created a lonely

environment in which to live.

Their relationship is not hostile,

but it is definitely not good.

We have coached, advised and

even pleaded with our son to be

the initiator, but he is hesitant

to do so. As much as we have

wanted to ‘come to the rescue,’

we realize there are life lessons

being learned and character

and maturity being forged in

this difficult experience. Part

of growing up is learning to

deal with people and navigating

relationship issues.”

Rhonda Barinowski

North Augusta, S.C.

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